Hmmmm?
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Friday, 30 May 08 - 02:08 AM (GMT -05:00) By Mark Moore in Humor |
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In no way am I passing judgment on this church. I even took the Pastor's name off the sign. I don't know why, I just did. Anyway, I drive past this sign once a week or so. It catches my attention every time. Why? In my mind, "furnace" and "mercy" just don't go together. It just seems oxymoronic to me. Again, I'm not making any judgments about the staff or those who attend this fine church. I'm sure it is a place for God's mercy. With my strange sense of humor, however, I find it an interesting combination.
A new name for the gluteus maximus
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Wednesday, 27 February 08 - 10:49 PM (GMT -05:00) By Mark Moore in Humor |
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I don't have a picture for this one . . .
Those of you who are parents know that kids say the funniest things . . . especially when they're trying to figure things out on their own.
Tonight Madison and I were having an impromtu school lesson on muscles. We talked about the triceps, biceps, quadraceps and the infamous gluteus maximus. David was sitting beside us and laughing along with us. About two minutes later he tried to chime in with what he could remember about the discussion and blurted out, "I'm going to hit you in the "TOOTAMUS MAXIMUS". I don't know if that's what he thought I had said or if that's how he had it figured out in his own mind. I guess if you think about it, it does make sense.
Anyway, the TOOTAMUS MAXIMUS was good for a few belly laughs at our house tonight.
Ever felt like an idiot?
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Thursday, 07 February 08 - 10:24 PM (GMT -05:00) By Mark Moore in Humor |
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I locked my keys in the car today. It's nothing new. I've done it before. I was at the bank, filled out my deposit slip and dropped the keys. I came back out to the car, stuck my hands into my pocket and you guessed it . . . no keys!
Praise the Lord I had 19 days left on my AAA account! I called them and they sent someone out to unlock it . . . 45 minutes later. As I sat down in the drivers seat I felt like a real idiot. I felt a breeze and looked to my right and saw it . . . the sunroof was open the whole time!
To make the story a little easier on myself, our car is a suburban and not a civic. I couldn't see the sunroof, but I still felt like an idiot!
Chia Update
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Tuesday, 15 January 08 - 09:43 PM (GMT -05:00) By Mark Moore in Humor |
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Talk about a bad hair day . . . little chia cat had one today. It was partly my fault and partly Mariah's fault. I hadn't watered her in a couple days and Mariah mauled her yesterday. Anyway, because I'm tracking her progress I thought I would share it with everyone.
Chia Pet . . . Chia Roof
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Thursday, 10 January 08 - 11:21 PM (GMT -05:00) By Mark Moore in Humor |
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This past Christmas we bought our first chia pet. I can't believe it, but that's what Mackenzie wanted. She kept informing us that they had them at Walgreens. So, Santa packed a chia pet in his sleigh with Mackenzie's Barbie dolls.
This past week I had a eureka moment as I was watering the chia cat. My mind went back to a picture I took in Santa Fe, Honduras this past November. I had to laugh out loud as I thought about it. You probably won't laugh like I did, but here it is below . . . chia pet and chia roof.
Click on pictures for a larger view. Enjoy.
Now That's Dry
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Tuesday, 18 December 07 - 04:55 PM (GMT -05:00) By Mark Moore in Humor |
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Got this from an old seminary buddy today via email. I rarely ever read forwards. They usually go straight to my trash box. Why? Because most of them are TOO LONG! Here's one that was just the right length for my attention span . . . and funny too!
It's so dry in North Georgia that the Baptists are starting to baptize by sprinkling, the Methodists are using wet-wipes,
the Presbyterians are giving out rain-checks, and the Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back into water.
NOW THAT'S DRY!
Beds and Playing Cards
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Friday, 19 October 07 - 12:25 AM (GMT -05:00) By Mark Moore in Humor |
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I try to record alot of the funny things my kids say. I don't have time to record all of them, but this one was worth blogging about.
This past week we moved to a new house. On our first night here, I went into the kids bedrooms just to talk. While I was in the girls room the conversation turned to bed sizes. Madison asked if our bed was a king size or a queen size. I informed her that her mother wished it was a king size, but we had a queen. To which she replied, "Is my bed a Jack bed?" I didn't laugh immediately, but I have laughed a lot about it over the past week. I have never thought that bed sizes were related to playing cards. Also, it says something about your kids when you know what an Ace, King, Queen, and Jack is.
So, if you have a double bed in your house, you can rename it a "Jack Bed." BTW, we have a queen, jack and as Daniel said later . . . his bed was an Ace bed!
A blog post + a congressman = a honeymoon saved!
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Wednesday, 22 August 07 - 03:53 PM (GMT -05:00) By Mark Moore in Humor |
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TRUE STORY . . . maybe you read my posts on the passport mess while we were in Honduras this summer . . . maybe not. If you did, you remember the story of two of our team members getting their passports expedited through the intervention of our new congressman the Honorable Heath Shuler.
This past week I got an email from Missy you can read it below:
I just wanted to tell you that your blog saved someone's honeymoon. A girl that I work with was having trouble getting her passport (imagine that!). She did some sort of google search and found your blog. She contacted Heath Shuler's office and they helped her out and her honeymoon was saved! I think you should get some credit too!
How cool is that? My little blog saved someone's honeymoon. I'm sure a big shout out should go to terapad.com and google as well. So the title of the post should probably read:
"A blog post + terapad.com + google + a congressman = a honeymoon saved."
Spelling Bee
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Monday, 04 June 07 - 08:55 PM (GMT -05:00) By Mark Moore in Humor |
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Al my lif i hav tryed to bee a gud speler. I wurked reel hard at spelin whin I wuz in skool!
I don't know why, but I've been thinking a lot about spelling lately. I guess some of it has to do with typing Daniel's stories for his blog. The other thing is that the National Spelling Bee was on TV last week. I didn't get to see it, but I saw the winner on Good Morning America Friday morning. The winner was a homeschooler from California, Evan O'Dorney. It made me proud that a homeschooler won, but it reminded me of yet another reason I was thinking about spelling.
This is a sad, but true story. Two weekends ago Amy and I went to the North Carolina Homeschool Convention. I was sitting in a seminar about parenting when I noticed the homeschool dad in front of me taking notes. The speaker was talking about men being open and honest about our WOUNDS in life. I don't know why, but I was paying more attention to this guys notes than what the guy speaking was saying. I noticed the first time he hesitated as the speaker said the word WOUNDS. As he wrote his notes he paused and spelled it "WOONS." Then he realized it was spelled wrong and the next time he wrote a sentence with the word WOUNDS he spelled it "WOMBS!" I was shocked and saddened that he continued for the remainder of the talk to spell it "WOMBS!"
I don't like negative humor, but I don't know this guy and wouldn't remember him if he walked up to me tomorrow. Also, I know he doesn't read this blog because I personally know the 3 people who do read it! I also know my spelling is not perfect, but when you are talking about a man being open and honest with his WOUNDS, WOMBS just doesn't fit!
OH, BY THE WAY, IF YOU READ THIS FAR YOU GET TO KNOW WHY I PUT THIS PICTURE WITH THIS POST. . . NOTICE ANYTHING IRONICALLY WRONG WITH IT?
Valentine's Humor
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Friday, 09 February 07 - 11:11 PM (GMT -05:00) By Mark Moore in Humor |
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Our church (North Point Baptist) had a Valentine's Party tonight. Instead of playing the "traditional" newlywed game, everyone played a question game. The highlight of the night came from round 3. The question was what was the most romantic thing your spouse has ever done for you? One guy (a former preacher) gave this story . . . He and his wife had gone on a vacation and somehow his luggage was lost. He didn't have any clean underwear for the next morning. So, he said the most romantic thing his wife ever did for him was that "she offered to let him wear some of her underwear!" The room errupted with laughter. It didn't stop there. The follow-up question for him was, "Did you take her up on the offer?" To which he replied, "No, they were too big!!" It's a good thing they have been married a long time or else he may not have many more "romantic offers."
... More items are available in my News Archive
